Realness

Are You Truly Living?

By on February 12, 2018

This is one of my all-time favorite articles so I had to share. I originally received it in on of Natalie Diver’s emails and I re-read it all the time.

It really makes you think and it is SO true. Disclaimer: There are a few curse words.

So here it is:

The thing that gets the most under my skin is walking around the world and seeing people who have stopped living.

I see them on buses and in restaurants and walking on the street and it fucking devastates me.

It’s fucking miserable.

It’s a club 70% of our world has prescribed to.

I went to shake them and light a fire in their eyes.

You must quit the life you hate to start living.

I was talking with somebody last week about somebody changing careers and they said, “If I was them I would just lie down, take it and work for another 10 years even if I hated it, just to retire. They’re so close. Why start again?”

Every molecule in my being detested those words.

It makes my hackles raise and my mouth froth resent.

Doing the movements–the degree/the debt, the office job, the pension, the mortgage, waking up everyday hating a job you have to work to support the house you didn’t really want to buy and the degree you didn’t really use for the pension you’ll never use because you’ll get a disease from your misery and die before you can enjoy it isn’t living.

Whatever asshole told you that, lied.

I’m sorry—but its all absolute bollux and you need to start again.

Our generation is blessed with living in a world where we can do whatever the hell we want–we can pull jobs out of our assholes and throw pasta on walls.

There are kids pranking their moms on their Youtube channels getting paid $60,000 a video off advertising.

We live in a cool time–are you aware of what we can do, what you can do?

How some of my friends left their 9-5’s and started their own business and are absolutely killing it is not extraordinary to me.

I don’t think I or they are special cases.

I think too many people lay down in a life they don’t love and go, “Well, I guess I’m here so… fuck it, I’ll just stay.”

No shit we are a bunch of black out weekly alcoholics.

No shit we are addicted to Netflix so we can check out of real life.

No shit we get depressed because we feel it is hopeless and there’s no point.

Who said we have to stay?

Who said the solution is to lay down, wake up, brush our teeth, pee, get dressed, eat, shit, eat, and sleep?

Maybe your parents or a cool uncle or who knows—anyways, it isn’t true.

A friend of mine is in his seventies and getting a divorce.

When he told me his choice he said, “Janne, now is the most pressing time. And I know, shit, I only have maybe 20 years left. How do I want to live those 20 years?”

“You may be 38 years old, as I happen to be. And one day, some great opportunity stands before you and calls you to stand up for some great principle, some great issue, some great cause.

And you refuse to do it because you are afraid. You refuse to do it because you want to live longer. You’re afraid that you will lose your job, or you are afraid that you will be criticized or that you will lose your popularity, or you’re afraid that somebody will stab you, or shoot at you or bomb your house; so you refuse to take the stand.

Well, you may go on and live until you are 90, but you’re just as dead at 38 as you would be at 90. And the cessation of breathing in your life is but the belated announcement of an earlier death of the spirit.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

You aren’t doing anybody a favor when you stop living, stop trying.

When we heal our suffering, we heal this world.

When we do what we love, we heal this world.

You don’t need to write some fucking self help book with the intention it’s going to save people, or become Tony Robbins or go build 12 schools in Colombia (or do) to save our planet—you want to save our planet? Live your god damn truth.

Speak your truth, be your truth, live your truth—and go make some money off your truth while you’re at it.

Don’t lie down and drink the Kool aide and think you’re doing anyone any favors.

The greatest cause of disease is emotions that manifest into physical pain in our bodies—you want to swallow your truth and work, live a job you hate—it will kill you and that ain’t doing you or your family any favors either.

So how does it heal this world if I do what I love?

Because when you do what you love, you shine.

You become happy.

You float like a fucking weightless chipmunk through your days because nothing is heavy anymore.

People will walk up to you and when you tell them they will go, “Ahhhhh, that’s why. You’re happy because you do what you love.”

Like its some god damn secret that somebody needs to tell everybody else (even though you already know and he knows, and she knows and we all know).

“But, who will do all the jobs like bag groceries? Pick the garbage up? Not everybody is a beautiful, blonde, white 27-year-old female who can play on a surfboard and write poetry.”

You’re right, there is only one me—and my truth and my joy is writing poetry and somebody else’s truth and joy might be being a tow truck driver. In fact, one of the happiest humans I have ever met is a tow truck driver in Victoria. Shit grinning happy. Maybe happier than me.

He is living.

So quit blaming everybody for not living your life.

And go try.

The common complaint among a lot of these people is that they need to ‘find their passion.’

I call bullshit. You already found your passion, you’re just ignoring it. Seriously, you’re awake 16 hours a day, what the fuck do you do with your time? You’re doing something, obviously. 

You’re talking about something. There’s some topic or activity or idea that dominates a significant amount of your free time, your conversations, your web browsing, and it dominates them without you consciously pursuing it or looking for it.

It’s right there in front of you, you’re just avoiding it. For whatever reason, you’re avoiding it. You’re telling yourself, “Oh well, yeah, I love comic books but that doesn’t count. You can’t make money with comic books.”

Fuck you, have you even tried?” 

-Mark Manson

If you woke up tomorrow morning and had 6 million dollars, what would you do?

You have your thing—now go fucking live it.

Read the full article here. 

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Realness

Goal Setting in 2018

By on December 11, 2017

I saw a goal setting seminar for next year pop up on my Instagram ads today and I decided that for 2018, ironically, I’m going to cut out buying into that crap because I’m a sucker for an Instagram ad/productivity hack.

Am I maybe jumping the gun as far as goal setting for the new year? At first I thought so. But then I asked myself, “Do you want to be the kind of person joining the gym on Jan 1st and stop going within the month?” Nope.

I’m a true believer that having goals for the new year is great but we all know that 99% of people drop them all by the end of the first month.

When is the last time you actually completed those things or kept them up?

But if you’re proactive and start changing your mindset now and really reflect on what you did well this year and what kind of fell off, your goals are so much more attainable next year.

Take some time (aka sit down and get off your phone) and truly think about what you wanted to do this year. As far as your health, fitness, in your job, with your routine, your finances, your social life.

Did you do what you wanted to do this? What did you achieve? What went well? Don’t feel bad about what you didn’t achieve. Just commit to setting better goals so you can make it happen this coming year.

Think about what kept you from achieving those goals. How can you prevent that from getting in the way this year? What exactly do you need to do to get where you want to be?

Don’t throw out the same damn goal ideas you’ve had every year – work out more, eat better, lose weight, save money, etc. If you throw crap out like that and don’t really quantify it or elaborate, how are you ever going to attain them because you don’t even really mean it?

First of all, don’t set too many goals. If you have over 10 goals for the new year, you’re going to forget about the majority in a week.

Be realistic. If you’re not in the habit of working out, don’t make your goal going to the gym 7 days a week for 2 hours a day. Set a goal of going 2-3 times a week and work your way up from there.

And then find a way to track these goals. It’s hard to stick with goals that you can’t consistently track. I’m much more accountable if I have a way to see it on a daily basis. You could get a white board calendar, you can use an app – even just Google calendar.

It’s easy to write a giant list. But take the list and categorize them. Then choose the best one in each category and stick with it. What I’m going to focus on in the coming year is working out, food/meal prep, social media (less of it), and time management/scheduling.

So as far as working out (as a category), I want to be in the gym 5-6 times a week with 2-3 days of cardio, even if that means working out both Saturday and Sunday. I have a ton more goals when it comes to working out but that’s the one I’m emphasizing for 2018.

I also want to follow a scheduled calendar – right now I write a schedule almost every week and forget about them an hour later. This includes actually time blocking and not getting distracted.

Other categories could be things like food. Say you want to start meal prepping – start with a goal of meal prepping at least your lunch and then you can start doing all of your meals.

My point is that you can’t do it all when it comes to goals – you have to pick and choose.

Goals are also much more attainable if you quantify them without being overzealous.

For instance, if you want to lose 10 lbs, don’t set your goal to just be “lose 10 lbs” – set it in increments per week or month.

Another goal I’m adding to my list is to stop getting caught up in social media for minutes or hours – basically to stay in my own lane and stop comparing myself to others.

Here are some other goal ideas:

Read more books – let’s say one a month
Do a Whole30 – I promise it will change the way you relate food to how you feel on a daily basis
Track your spending for a month – you’ll be surprised how much $ you spend on crap
Try meditating – 1 minute a day
Try something new – a hobby, a sport, writing, painting
Learn to find comfort in being alone – even live alone if you can (one of the best decisions I’ve ever made – you’ll learn so much about yourself)
Stop following people that don’t add anything to your life or bring enjoyment to you
If you’re in a relationship, do something for your partner once a month that is totally selfless

So while tomorrow marks 2 weeks until Christmas, take some time and think about what you want to do next year to make it to the best year yet.

✖️✖️✖️

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Realness

Don’t Waste Your Twenties Thinking You Should Have it All Together

By on October 16, 2017

There’s so much pressure in your twenties to know exactly what you want to do and to figure out your life purpose and your passion and yada yada yada.

Every day I see more and more books and articles and PDF’s to download to help you figure out your life. I’m a sucker for it too.

But I think I’ve finally realized that it’s okay to not have it all figured out and to now know what exactly what I want to do. Don’t waste your twenties thinking you’re supposed to have it all together. 

At one point, I worked a job that was 100% commission and as much as it pushed me to be my best some days, it was also very difficult when things weren’t so busy. I, like a lot of people, view success in my career as a very high priority in my life.

But I’m slowly realizing as I spend more long days at the office that life isn’t about money or success. Who really cares what your job title is or the highest position you achieve in your career if you’re a slave to your unrelenting job? The definition of success is different for every single person.

Yes, we all need to make a living to pay our bills. But happiness can’t solely be placed on how much money you make or your title at your job. Your happiness should depend on the little things in life. It should be about enjoying time spent with your family and friends.

The bottom line is – it’s okay to feel lost. It’s okay to say “I’m unhappy” or “this isn’t what I want to do.” It’s okay to let it sit, take a step back and reevaluate and remember that it’s just a job.

It’s okay to realize that maybe you don’t want a 9 to 5 and that maybe you want to work a few part time jobs while you figure out what you do want to do. At any point in your twenties, or your life, you can decide that you want to do something else with your life and to change directions. That is okay.

I’ve done a lot of stuff in my life because I thought it was what I was supposed to do or it was the next logical step in life, and I’m sure a lot of other people have too, but it turns out it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted.

I don’t want to sound like I’m giving people a reason to be lazy in their twenties and then think that in their thirties or at some point down the toad, they’re going to magically have it together. A lot of people seem to take away from social media that overnight success is common. My point is that it takes most people some time to figure their lives out.

Your twenties are a time to learn and soak everything up to figure out what you are interested in. Read, explore, go out of your way to meet people who do things you’re interested in.

Just remember that you are living for you. No one else has to live with your life and your job and your decisions. So do what makes you happy, keep exploring and learning and remember to enjoy your life.

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Realness

It’s Friday

By on June 16, 2017

So I’m going to try this new thing where every Friday, I’ll share what I’m reading, listening to, products and things I’m coveting and loving, and quotes that have stuck with me.

What I’m reading:
Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
Wtf is grit? Duckworth describes grit as a combination of passion and perseverance and how it is often overshadowed by talent incorrectly. Long-term passion turn into great achievement when supported by perseverance – which is something we millennials have a hard time doing: sticking things out. Because here’s the thing – you can’t get anywhere if you don’t have a long-term goal, which she does acknowledge can take some time to nail down – people don’t find these things over night. She then goes on to explain that you’re not SOL if you don’t feel that you have true grit. But that you can become a gritty person through learning the four psychological assets that mature paragons of grit exhibit: interest, practice, purpose and hope. Such a good read…I love her examples. It was definitely a book I didn’t want to put down. (I LOVE TO READ. Yes, this one probably sounds very re-search-esque but trust me, it’s a good read for everyone)

What I’m listening to:
The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast – The Bitch Bible – Episode 22
If you haven’t heard of Jackie Schimmel of the Bitch Bible, you are missing out. She is freaking hilarious and Lauryn Evarts and her fiancé Michael Bosstick are typically hilarious themselves. Jackie doesn’t hesitate to tell it like it is. She is real af. In this episode, she discusses “her love of all things ‘Real Housewives,’ why James Kennedy from ‘Vanderpump Rules’ is the worst, what made her start a blog, and why people should be honest about the plastic surgery they get.”

Currently coveting:
Urban Decay Shapeshifter Palette – because Ulta ran out of light/medium palettes this week so I haven’t been able to get my hands on one 🙄

Product I’m loving:
RenPure shampoo and conditioner – I’ve been using this brand for a while now. Right now, I’m using the Coconut Cream shampoo and the 7 Super Oils conditioner. I love this brand because their products don’t have any sodium chloride, sulfates, dyes, harsh salts, or parabens (aka things that strip your hair)!

Quote I’m contemplating:
@_stephanierao‘s quote “Start your week aggressively, write down your goals, envision yourself completing them. Now go crush the week. Remember we become our actions.” (yeah I’m basically free marketing for some of the people I follow on instagram)

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Realness

June = blessings, growth, and positive change.

By on June 2, 2017

June = the month of blessings, growth and positive change

I love a new month. A new month can only mean new opportunities.

Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a brand new opportunity to rebuild what you truly want.

Cheers to June

✖️✖️✖️

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Realness

Social Media Realness

By on April 14, 2017

Social media has taken over. We all basically have a tick now where we all sit on our phones if we’re not doing something and instinctively click on Instagram or Snapchat or maybe that’s just me…

But I hate to break it to ya, social media isn’t real.

I follow a TON of fitness instagrams and people are MEAN. I think we all just need to get over the fact that almost every single person doesn’t look in real life the way they do on social media. And that bashing people on sites like GOMI, writing things like “Is this sponsored? What does she do to earn these things?,” is besides the point because blogging and social media is what certain people do as a job. So making trips and products look good is what earns them money.

I’m guilty of it – I think ‘oh my god her skin is perfect and she has abs and a perfect butt with not a single bit of cellulite, I need to kill my self in the gym tomorrow.’ And then I remember that there’s laser treatments, botox, photoshop and very skilled photographers. Just because you can’t see any stretch marks or cellulite in a picture doesn’t mean it’s not there.

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Realness | Uncategorized

Realness

By on April 3, 2017

KeepingItReal

My version of a disclosure:

So maybe I’ve decided that I’m going to talk about a little more than just getting back into a healthy lifestyle because I’m super extroverted, very ADHD and need a creative outlet.

Right now I’m really just trying to design my own future, a life I love and figure out how to live life on my own terms. Being 23 and trying to act like I know what I want to do with the rest of my life is hard. Half the time I’d like to up and move to the Caribbean and be a bartender.

I’m not even going to try to make this into a perfect blog – I’m far from perfect. Ultimately, I want this to be real af.

What I’d like to write about is what twenty-somethings think and talk about on a daily basis – the fun stuff (my favorite makeup, the best brands – I’m a freaking product junkie), the stupid questions I google, the things people my age don’t like to talk about, what it’s really like being a 23 year old trying to figure out her “life purpose”, all while maintaining a social life (yeah right), a relationship and some semblance of sanity. But I want to be super candid, transparent and authentic – because I think we’re all just trying to live our best life possible.

✖️✖️✖️

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